It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
The adults are the big ones right?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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