Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
