i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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