I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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