i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
