either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
