Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
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