Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
