She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
soo... how was my night?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
