Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
