I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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