Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
