just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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