Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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