I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
They have beer where we have blood.
Randomize
