I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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