A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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