Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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