hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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