So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
it's great music for shaving your balls
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
