doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
now i know why i became what i already was.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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