I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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