it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
