its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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