They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize