At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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