We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Randomize
