check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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