Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
