Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
