xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
