Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
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