Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
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