i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
