He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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