I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
