My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
