Got a toothbrush?
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
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