So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
