Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
