I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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