i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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