How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
