Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
