your parents love me but you hate me
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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