I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
