Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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