One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
