There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Never underestimate the power of titties
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