smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
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