I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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