is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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