You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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