why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize