I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
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i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
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I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
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