3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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