I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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