Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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