i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Randomize
