Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Randomize
