THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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